The drama triangle

Overstepping boundaries can cause drama for all involved including families and carers.

The diagram below is a useful way to look at how a worker or volunteer can easily start as a rescuer. Helping the customer with things that cross boundaries as they seem to be a victim in the situation and need you.

This can easily change if for some reason you can't meet expectations and you are now being persecuted (blamed or complained about for not meeting the customer's needs).

Example:

  • The home care worker or staff member sees a need and provides a favour (rescuer)
  • The customer receives the favour (victim)
  • The customer becomes dependent on the support worker and the favour is now an expected service. The customer complains when the home care worker or staff member is unable to continue to provide the service or another staff member visits (persecutor)
  • The home care worker or staff member is blamed and could become the victim


Lesson Summary

Overstepping boundaries in caregiving can lead to drama for all involved, including families and carers. It is important to be mindful of how caregivers can unintentionally become the rescuer in a situation, offering help to the customer and crossing boundaries. This can change if the caregiver is unable to meet the customer's expectations and is then blamed or complained about for not meeting their needs.

Here is an example of how this dynamic can play out:

  • The home care worker or staff member sees a need and provides a favor, acting as the rescuer.
  • The customer, feeling like a victim, receives the favour.
  • The customer becomes dependent on the support worker/staff member and now expects the favor as a service.
  • If the home care worker or staff member is unable to continue providing the favour or another staff member visits, the customer may complain.
  • In this scenario, the home care worker or staff member may be blamed and could become the victim.

It is important for staff member to be aware of these dynamics and establish clear boundaries to ensure a healthy and balanced caregiving relationship.

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